I don’t freakin’ get it


  • Eating a slice of bread by itself is cool but eating a piece of cheese/meat by itself is not?
  • Ordering vegetable masala with naan and white rice is fine but ordering chilli paneer/chicken with steamed vegetables on the side instead of naan is weird?
  • Running 26 miles is fitness but deadlifting twice your bodyweight is madness?
  • Doing situps is beneficial but overhead pressing your bodyweight is dangerous?
  • Taking your medicines with you on a vacation is a necessity but taking protein powder is stupidity?
  • The guy inhaling a footlong subway sandwich with chips and a cookie is health conscious but the guy munching on steak and butter sauteed veggies is a nut-job?
  • Salad with/on flat bread is healthy but burger without bun is stupid?
  • 3 cups of rice per meal is easy but 3 cups of vegetables per meal is impossible?
  • Feeding your baby with stupid crap prepared in unknown factories in random parts of the world is care but feeding him/her home made meat, veggies and starches is not practical?
  • Cereal bars for breakfast is wholesome and convenient but nuts and berries for breakfast is not?
  • Getting bread in a salad bar is legit but salad in a pizza place is messed up?
  • Being diabetic is understandable but being a low carber is buying into fads?
  • Not doing any kind of physical activity ever is no big deal but skipping one damn meal is ridiculous?
  • 400 grams of carbs per day is the norm but 100 grams of protein a day is risky?
  • Paying the doctor is unavoidable but paying for quality food is unaffordable?
  • (Ultra processed totally fake tasting like bird crap) Smart bacon is good for you but super natural ambrosia like real bacon will clog your arteries?
  • You love Jerry Seinfeld but you don’t know who George Carlin is?

You guys are messed up in the head!


20 responses to “I don’t freakin’ get it

  1. Arvind Ashok January 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Super post. Have one more to add – Telling a skinny guy that he should eat more is fine but telling a fat-ass that he should put down that whopper and milkshake is uncool!?

  2. Kitty January 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    I love your posts. Very direct, to the point and hilarious, please keep it up.

  3. Mamatha January 8, 2011 at 8:23 am

    Good one RG!

    Taking statins as a preventive measure is totally normal but eating healthy to prevent diseases is being obsessive.

  4. Bill Strahan January 8, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Great post!

    The number of times I’ve had people respond to my answers to their questions about my diet with “Sounds extreme” or “Well, I believe in all things in moderation” totally pissed me off. I came up with the three sayings I hate the most, and though I didn’t mention this part in my own blog, I came up with my short, one sentence answers that I now respond with every time.

    “Sounds extreme.” – “Yes, extremely good, and that’s called great.”

    “All things in moderation.” – “So your spouse can cheat on you moderately?”

    “Isn’t that a little obsessive?” – “Yep, just like you obsessively breathing all the time.”

    These then launch into a more detailed conversation where I usually get through to them that I don’t need a moderate amount of wheat in my diet any more than I need a moderate amount of rat poison.

    People are idiots, threatened by people who are knowledgeable and actually take a stand for change. They put down what you’re doing to deflect the fact they don’t do it themselves or they don’t even know enough to realize they should be doing it.

    Charge on.

  5. the mad momma January 8, 2011 at 11:44 am

    ok.. i’m loving you more every day.

  6. camila prada January 8, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Awesome. I’m starting with The Body Ecology diet, so I’ll be getting some unremarkable remarks soon too. No biggie, I’m used ignorance, as the only brown kid in town (small town Europe) I used to get asked if I lived in tree by kids at school. It wasn’t racism, they were asking seriously. Scary huh?

  7. Bons January 8, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Really good post!

  8. Michelle January 9, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Haha, love it!! Great post.

  9. malpaz January 12, 2011 at 10:04 am

    hahahhaha oh i LOVED THIS… can i add?

    Buying corn oil/soybean oil in bulk is a ‘good investment’ but buying real butter in bulk to make ghee is nonsense?

  10. RG January 13, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    Someone liked this post enough to translate it to Hebrew!


    I have no clue if it says the right things… but it sure looks cool!

  11. Paul January 20, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Love it. You’re posts are great.

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